Saturday, February 12, 2011 8:03 AM
Well- here’s the deal… the Dr. called Paul and told him he thinks it’s cancer. Bottom line.
He said that there are other lesions and spots deeper within his neck and throat and they want to do a biopsy and more tests on Feb 22nd. We have to go to Ann Arbor for these tests and this procedure.
I am not sure how I am feeling… but my thoughts keep stopping at fear. I have no doubt that I’ll be okay- whatever happens… I am okay. But I am scared as hell and don’t like it.
Paul got the call yesterday morning- but didn’t tell me until late afternoon- he is still processing it too. We had a good cry last night- hugged- and talked… just talked about our love and how it just doesn’t seem fair.
He said he wants to see the other girls have babies and he is not ready to give up. I called them to let them know what was up and told them he would call when he could. He doesn’t want them to be scared. He is a great protector. Very strong.
I urged him last night after dinner to call his girls- he did, and felt better. I told him it was okay to cry- to tell them it is okay to cry too. Don’t hold back and let it flow… it’s all okay. We are in this together and whatever happens- we’re going to be okay.
Everybody feels like they have to be strong for the next person. Nobody wants to be scared out loud. Or cry with the other person. F- that…. I got them all crying and talking… that’s where the healing begins. Not in the closet, but out in the open with each other
I feel the love from all of you- and from all of our friends. I know I am blessed and I know that people are praying for us. Talk about blind faith. Holy crap- nothing like practicing the second and third step right out loud!
We are going away for the night- no phones and no interruptions… Please just pray- We don’t want phone calls right now… we are all talked out at the moment… Send me an email if you want- I’ll read it on Monday.
Love you all!
With love and gratitude,
Your sister Denise