Chapter 13

Email from Paul

Wednesday, May 4, 2011 10:51 AM

I would call but my voice is so weak I thought I would write instead. I had a meeting and appointment this morning with the chemo oncologist this morning. They discussed with me about future treatments (chemo) and they decided that I would need no further chemo treatments, just the radiation.
They said that my throat looked good, or as good as it can right now, and that the chemo they have given me was enough. I have radiation left and I will be heading home to my family after this long journey in my life. It seems like it has been forever, and I am looking forward to being home with my wife, and to start gaining my strength back. I will still have follow ups down the road, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I love you all, and can’t wait to see everyone. When my voice feels better I will call and touch base with you. I have radiation today, and then T.V. time later!!



Paul Update 5.11.12

Friday, May 6, 2011 10:15 AM


Hello Everyone,

After today… there are only 7 more treatments to go!! Yeah…

And… The best news ever? No more chemo! He spoke to the Dr.’s when he got back to Ann Arbor- they ran tests, hydrated him more each day, did ultrasound… then told him that they think he has had enough chemo… So he will skip his last dose. His creatinine level as of this morning was 1.9!
Last treatment is May 17th… (Happy Birthday Doni)

We certainly don’t know what to expect as we near the end of his treatments- as far as recovery time… when he will gain his strength back… when he will be able to eat again… those things we can handle as they come… but we are very grateful for the encouraging news from the Dr.’s. They told him everything looks good- is right on track… and his levels are back down… Here’s hoping and praying for a relaxing weekend at home… 🙂
Thank you everyone for continued prayers, love and support! Can you tell I am excited it’s Friday??
Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms- have a blessed weekend!

Denise and Paul


Paul Update 5.16.11
Monday, May 16, 2011 1:48 PM

Hello everyone,
I am really glad this part of the journey is almost over! After today- he has ONE MORE treatment! Yeah!!!
Paul had a very trying weekend… he came home on Friday and slept on the couch until I took him back to Ann Arbor on Sunday morning. He had either a slight cold- or seasonal allergies that created lots of phlegm and made it difficult for him to breath, swallow and just plain be comfortable. He dozed- sitting straight up- for two days. His throat hurt something fierce… so he was medicated to try and relieve that part- then he couldn’t get comfy with the congestion… so it was miserable.
Finally on Sunday morning- he wrote me a note… mind you- he’d said about ten words the whole weekend. (Not real communicative when he doesn’t feel good…) And said- he wanted to go back to Ann Arbor to get some relief. He was hoping they would give him a breathing treatment or something to break up the mucus. I told him I’d take him- and called Hailey to drive the car and meet us down there later in the day.
He packed up his meds- and away we went. (He hadn’t even unpacked his car from the previous week’s trip.) When we got there- they looked things over- took his temp and blood pressure and said it was drainage. Because his throat is so raw and swollen- he is unable to process the excess phlegm… so he either chokes on it… or he hacks it up. After several days of doing this… it’s tainted with blood… and he feels even more raw.

They gave him some nasal spray- and I took him to the hotel. He took another nap- and I waited for Hailey to come with the car…. We got home around 10:30 last night.

Thank You Hailey!! She is such a trooper… she even drove part of the way… Although I have to say- I wasn’t a very good co-pilot for her… We missed our exit… twice! 🙂 Good thing we weren’t in a race… because she sailed right past US 10… and I realized it about five minutes later… then when we got down to two lanes on Us 10… I realized we had missed M-115! I take total responsibility for it… she was gracious enough to drive… so I should’ve been paying attention!

Okay… so that all being said- here’s where my head is today. I am over it. I have had enough. I honestly don’t know how people can do this for months and years… oh my goodness… I can’t even imagine what he is feeling.

I can’t imagine how flippin upset he must be about not feeling well… it has went from no symptoms or pain… to injecting poison into his body and watching the effects… then cooking him until his neck is so red it’s peeling and blistering… he is hacking up blood and can’t rest laying down. Enough!
I am sooo glad it’s almost done. I need him home- so I can help him heal. He has had enough. I have had enough. It seems like each and every time he has a little relief- he suffers a relapse of sorts.

It’s been a long ordeal- and I am soooooooo ready for it to be done. I just want my husband back. Not the ornery man sitting on the couch and not talking to me… I want my husband back.

Even as I write this… I tear up… it’s okay… a good cry is good for one’s soul. I am tired of being tough… I don’t want to mess with smelly things under the kitchen sink… I want my husband back! I want to look out into the back yard and see him with a rake in his hand… I want to see him planting his garden… it’s time. Let the healing begin. He has had enough God… it’s time to let him heal now. I know it’s pretty sad that I think I can talk to God like that- right? But until you walk in it… you just never know what emotions will come up.

It sure has been a learning experience. Boy oh boy… I am more in love with this man today- than I ever thought was possible. He is such a strong man. He is my Marine…and it’s time for him to come home and get better. No more poking and prodding… no more IV’s… No more poison. It’s all about the love now people… let’s show him love.
I thank you all for taking this journey with me… with us… and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your love, support, prayers and good thoughts! We couldn’t have done it without all of you.
Bless you all… Peace and Love…

Denise and Paul

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