Chapter 22

***If you are just joining the blog, you may want to read a few of the previous posts to catch up,  this is a healing journey. Its my story, as I walked along side of my husband Paul during his battle with cancer. We began this journey in 2011- these are the emails that I used to keep all of our friends and family in the loop. ***

Paul Update 5/10/12

Hello Everyone,

(Weds Eve)

A lot has happened since Friday… Let’s begin with the best news… We have a new granddaughter! Lydia Ann, was born Monday evening, she weighed in at 7 pounds 10.2 ounces and is 20.5 inches long! Mom and baby are home now and doing good. I will attach a picture. She is welcomed home by her two year old big sister Alexa- and now Bampa has two princesses to fight for!

Okay… Paul graduated from radiation and met with Dr. XXXX on Friday. The machine was down, they were backed up and he also had a surprise appointment with Oncology. So it was a long day at the hospital… He got a good “talking too”… about his weight loss and attitude.

Dr. XXXX reminded him of the great support team that he has and that he should be appreciative and accept help when it is offered. She also told him that the 11+ pounds that he lost… was not good. She said he needed to put the weight back on and to focus on getting stronger.

The Oncology team has decided he is eligible for treatments –if he desires. The “if” is because the chemo is not going to kill the cancer. It will only help, as palliative care. Meaning it will only help with symptoms. (Which he currently has none… So why inject poison that will make him sick… If it will not help kick the C?)

We are going to weigh all options and start some homeopathic treatments as well. We are researching the effects of the chemo… there is a lot to think about. There are so many natural ways to help him… Without poisoning him. Ultimately it’s his choice… And we need to gather more information on the alternatives… But for the moment… We are not giving up.

I ran into a woman at Meijer’s today… My first day back in town… I have been out of the loop… out of touch. She approached me and told me how very sorry she was to hear the news about Paul. She also told me that someone close to her just died of cancer. She then asked- “Is there hope?

What do you say to that?? YES! We have hope!

It sort of stopped me in my tracks… She said she would continue to pray for us…I thanked her and went about my way….

Paul is losing his hair… 😦 The radiation is making his hair fall out. This was something they said may happen… And it is. It’s all over his sweatshirt… He said he doesn’t want to deal with it today…so I will just leave it alone.

(Thursday morning)

Today we are going to town to do some errands… then later I am going to head to the gym to work for a few hours. It’s literally been weeks since I have worked… other than running in there to catch things up on Saturday.

I am thankful for great people around me… my bosses have been wonderful. They are allowing me to take the time I need. My niece is also helping at the gym… thank you Manisha, Kim and Jim… you honestly don’t know how much stress is relieved, just knowing that I don’t have to worry about a job… or a paycheck… it’s huge… so thank you.

Our plan for our future is day by day… talk about a novel concept. Most of you know I am in recovery… and that’s how we do it… One Day at a Time, or Just for Today.

To apply it to addiction is one thing… to apply it towards everyday living is another. I would’ve liked to believe that I had been practicing it all along… this just proves I can grow. I can become better at anything.

I was talking to a dear friend yesterday… she asked me how I was doing? If I was remaining in the day? If I was present in each moment? My response? “As best as I can…” It’s hard to describe… I honestly feel that I am as present as I can be… without losing it. Again, there is a fine line… but today… I am okay. I attribute this to the love and support that I am getting from my friends and family. I don’t know how anyone could travel this journey alone.

Thanks again to all the wonderful people who sent cards, letters and emails with support and love. We really do appreciate all of it.

Peace and Love,

Denise

Lydia and Alexa

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