Expectations, Negativity and Change

Hiya Everyone,

So be honest with me. How did the title of this blog make you feel? Did it give you a bit of anxiety? Let’s chat for a second about that…

This past week, I have been dealing with a lot of negativity. It seems to be swirling around in the (Cough cough cough) “Spring Air.” If you’re in Michigan… you will get the joke, we woke up to snow again this morning. Soooo… that probably has something to do with my mood and the mood of my fellow wanderers.

I am enrolled in classes with the Dr. Sears Wellness Institute, to become a Master Level Certified Health Coach. I finished my first segment in December of last year, and am officially a certified coach… we are currently learning “the Master Level Certification” which is a fancy way of saying the psychology behind change and motivation. This is how we as coaches bring about change. (There is that word again… change…)

As part of my weekly homework, I am reading four separate books, I record conversations with “clients” and practice what we are studying. (The books are Appreciative Coaching, Nonviolent Communication, Motivational Interviewing in Nutrition and Fitness and the Third Edition of Motivational Interviewing. )

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of information and I find it hard to focus and keep up. This week we are learning “Agenda Mapping” and our homework is an exercise that starts with a clean sheet of paper with some bubbles on it. (Not really bubbles- but ovals, designed to help us target an interest or topics that a potential client wishes to look at in their life.) Inside of these bubbles are the words Lifestyle, Exercise, Attitude and Nutrition. Dr. Sears uses these acronyms to guide us L.E.A.N. So we ask a potential client many questions but the idea is to find which area they want to focus on first. (Insert ambivalent client here….)

Ambivalence can be defined as having mixed feelings or contradictory ideas about something or someone. “I want to be healthy.” “I want to eat whatever I want, and not worry about fat, calories or carbs.” “I want to save money for a trip to Italy!” “I want to be able to shop and buy whatever I want, when I want it.” This pretty much describes all of us at some point… how many of us, are really ready- to do the work? How many of us are sick and tired of being sick and tired… but just can’t seem to nudge ourselves out of the funk. Now… let me reframe that question for you. How many of us desire change and are willing to explore some ways to get there? (Now we can use the bubbles to explore specific areas…)

This past week we had to ask ourselves a few questions and use a “wheel” to look at how our lives were either in balance or out of balance. The questions were designed to get us to look at many areas of our life. Social, Occupational, Emotional, Spiritual, Intellectual, Nutritional… etc. There were 8 categories. We looked at five statements in each of these areas, circled as many of them as we felt applied to us… then we used the wheel- as a visual tool, to see where we were strong and to see where we needed more work.

I didn’t understand the directions at first, I used the two tools separately. I answered the questions… or circled the statements that applied to me. Then I looked at the wheel and placed a dot on the wheel where I thought it applied. If you feel good about an area, the dot goes towards the outer edge, if you’re feeling not so good about an area, the dot goes more towards the inside. When I connected the first set of dots, my wheel looked like a cog in a watch.

Once I realized that I was supposed to take the statements and use them to apply the dots- my wheel looked more like a wheel. If you circled many of the five questions or all, then your dot went more laterally. If you didn’t circle any of the statements, then your dot was supposed to be more medial.

My point to this exercise? I thought my life was pretty out of balance. I thought I was a hot mess. I placed the dots initially to support what I thought I looked like. Blah. SO….. thinking I was a hot mess, led me to spiral in that mess. I allowed negativity and expectations to guide me. I felt stuck and without many options. I was playing the victim. My life was this way right now, because of _______________ insert choice here… hormones, lack of sleep, my husband, my schedule, my age, demands of other people, crabby friends… lol… You get the idea.

When I placed those dots, according to the statements my wheel only looked deflated in one area. Just one. Wow… why have I been so hard on myself? Why have I allowed myself to feel so out of balance?

Moving forward. Reclaiming my truth. I am not my emotions today. I am not my past. I have choices. Today I choose to allow the crazy to swirl around me… and not be it.

Boom.

Until next time… Peace and Love peeps.

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