I have learned recently that someone close to my family is really hurting. I am not going to share the details of this person’s journey… I will just say, I know this pain.
Holding space for someone means that I will walk along side them in the journey, without demanding anything. I will hold space in my heart for them, without an agenda. I will offer support and anything else they need. I will do this without needing details or offering a solution.
I remember when Paul was diagnosed with Cancer, there were some things I did to protect me.
- I didn’t refer to the cancer as his. I tried to always refer to it separately, not like he owned it or let it define him.
- I took what I needed from the Medical Community, My Spiritual Community, My Family, Friends, and God. I also let go of anything that didn’t serve me or my highest good, in that moment. (And believe me… that changed a lot!)
- Sometimes I was strong and full of hope. Other times, I cried silent tears and felt like a child.
- I made peace with the fact that if he died- He won. If he stayed- He won.
- I lived in the moment of each day, trying to appreciate what was in front of me… without giving up hope of a cure.
There is a delicate balance in hope, faith and reality. My reality was I was holding on by a damn thread. I didn’t know if I was okay, going to break at any moment… or if I had exactly what I needed. I just didn’t know.
If you’re walking along someone in the same position… just hold them. Just allow them to cry. Don’t offer words of comfort… all of that stuff means nothing… just be there and allow them to do what they need to do in the moment. Tell them you love them. Tell them you won’t leave them, until they need you to go…
I allowed people close to me to support me, love me, hold me in prayer and be my guides. It was a daily commitment. It was hard. It was painful. It was beautiful.
My biggest fear was, what if they thought I was okay and left my side, and I wasn’t okay? It didn’t happen… they stayed. They are still with me.
Surrendering to the fact that no matter what, I would be okay.
These are all realizations from the journey…
I have said it before, I will say again now… The thing that felt the best to me in my sorrow, in my pain? Was when someone hugged me, told me that they were sorry… and that they loved me.
Today, right now… if you believe in prayer, or if you have some other way to connect to this family… I ask that you surround them in love. Please send all that you have… nobody should go through this without knowing they are loved.
Peace and Love Peeps.